"I thank God whom I serve, as did my ancestors, with a clear conscience, as I remember you constantly in my prayers night and day. As I remember your tears, I long to see you, that I may be filled with joy. I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well. For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands, for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self control." 2 Timothy 1:3-7 ESV
Paul wrote this letter to "Timothy my beloved son" while literally staring a violent death in the face. Although he seems to have been released from his earlier imprisonment in Rome, he had been arrested again as the persecution of Christians revived under a new emperor. Now he sits in a the worst conditions he had ever faced in a small, square cell possibly underground in Rome awaiting his execution for the crime of preaching Jesus Christ. With very convincing evidence, most historians believe these to be his last written words.
Lots of Christians have related to me over many years that they just cant seem to get excited about this letter because it seems too morbid for their sensitivities. Probably we have that common expectation that bad things shouldn't happen to good people, so we expect God to ensure that all of our choices and the way our life flows should produce a life of comfort and ease. No surprises!
Maybe Timothy had taken a truly realistic look at how his life might end up like his mentor and father in the faith. There is even some strong indication that he had experienced much the same type of persecution that Paul and all the Apostles and untold thousands of Christians were enduring for the cause of Jesus Christ. One of the reasons I am strongly leaning toward Paul being the author of the book of Hebrews is this statement at the end of that book -
"I want you to know that our brother Timothy has been released. If he arrives soon, I will come with him to see you." Hebrews 13:23 NIV
Obviously this could have been written long after Paul was executed in Rome, and I am aware of all the scholarly reasons for assigning authorship to someone other than Paul, but somehow it just speaks to my spirit much like 2 Timothy 1:7 (above). Maybe Timothy had begun to rethink following in Paul's footsteps because of how and where he (Paul) ended up.
Do we have a right to expect God to shield us from even violent death at the hands of evil people who hate everything Jesus came to do for us? All Christians live a "risky" existence at best because the world is NOT controlled by Jesus. The world of the first century and the fifth century and every century right down to today and beyond is under the domination of Satan, which is why Jesus called him the "prince of this world".
As Paul has now reached the end of his opportunity for ministry he writes this very strong letter to his spiritual son to urge him to quit being fearful, timid because that definitely isn't from God. Although I cannot know exactly what "the gift" is that Paul gave Timothy through the laying on of his hands, I do know that it was intended to give him the power, love and self discipline that are required for the disciples of Jesus to stand firmly against the devil. I am also certain Timothy had begun to sort of back away from what he had been commissioned to be and do in the kingdom of Christ.
I've been there. Maybe you have too or maybe you're in that state of hesitancy or indecision now because you can't see a favorable outcome. I have one suggestion for you -
TAKE A DEEP BREATH, STAND UP STRAIGHT AND PROUD AND FIRMLY TELL SATAN "NO! I WILL NOT BACK UP, I WILL NOT GIVE UP AND I WILL NOT SHUT UP! THE ONLY WAY YOU WILL DEFEAT ME IS TO KILL ME - AND EVEN THEN I WIN, YOU LOSE!"
Hallelujah and Praise God forever!
